THANKS

This will be my last real entry.  All I have left are doctor visits, scans, and all that boring stuff that people already know about.  So this last entry, I wish to express my love and appreciation to all that have helped me along the way.  I am not even going to try and name you all personally, because I don't want to leave anyone out.  I will just say this...

To my friends, both old and new, thank you for fighting with me.  I love you all!

To my wonderful family, I could never express how grateful I am for all of you.  The service, encouragement, sacrifice, and love you have given through this time has been nothing short of a miracle in my life.  I love you all with all my heart, and am so grateful that we are all sealed together, and will be a family for time and all eternity.

Now, I will single out one person, and I am sure that you all know where I am going with this.  Miranda has been the rock that I have built upon.  She has been the glue that has held me together.  She has been the support when I have fallen (both literally and figuratively), and the crutch when I have begun to walk again.  She has been the breadwinner and nurturer.  She has been my nurse and caregiver.  She didn't plan on this any more than I did.  But she passed through it with grace that I have come to expect from a person as wonderful as she.  I have heard stories of people diagnosed with cancer that had to also suffer the abandonment of their spouse.  Whether or not that was ever a thought to Miranda or not, she never let it show to me.  I always knew that someone would be there with me.  She truly has been the heroine in this journey.  It was for her that I fought, and because of her that I can still fight!

2009

2010

2011

2012

To my sweetheart and companion I say with all the love, admiration, and respect that I possess, "Thank you."

I am completely Human again!

yeah, that kinda sounds weird.  But when you have had a piece of plastic and metal in your chest for over a year, you will feel the same way!

 


Today my mediport came out.  The mediport, or power port, was inserted into my chest so that I didn't have to take the chemotherapy drugs intravenously.  How grateful I am for it.  During chemo, they would just stick the needles in my chest and away I went.  After a while, I would notice that some of our friends who didn't have ports would have to get needles in their feet or legs, or any other place the nurses could find because the veins in their arms and hands were shot!  So this piece of equipment was definitely appreciated!  So much so that I tried to keep it, but they wouldn't let me! :(
But today wasn't without entertainment.  One of my side effects from heavy sedation or anesthesia is that I break out into song!  That's right, the nurses and doctors get a free concert!  My artists of choice always seem to be Michael Jackson, Jackson 5, Jimmy Buffett, or someone like that.  Quite odd!  But, from what I am told, it gives the nurses a great laugh, so I am happy about that.
So this being the last staple of the constant journey against cancer, I now consider myself fully on the road to recovery.  Definitely not normalcy.  That will never be the case for me ever again.  Every time I look in the mirror, I will remember this experience.  But I am on my way!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

The prednisone is now a thing of the past!  I can't tell you how grateful I am that I done with that stuff!  Yes, I am grateful that it has kept me alive for so long until my body decided to wake up and function on its own again.  But I am so grateful that now I can start dealing with these nasty side effects and make progress.  No more mood swings, weight gain, sore joints, and all that has come with this drug.
It's quite a sobering thought that I would not be alive without this drug.  I am grateful for modern medicine and what it has done for me.  Because of that, I will accept what it has done to me.

Another Doctor to the List

I went and met with an endocrinologist today, Dr. Wheaton.  She was very nice, but still didn't have any more answer than we already had.  So that means more blood work, more tests, and more waiting.  I am satisfied to say that my whole problem is "adrenal crisis."
I tell you, prednisone makes my chemotherapy treatments feel like a walk in the park!  Dr. Wheaton wants me to stay at 5 mg of prednisone until we figure stuff out, and then have me go down 1 mg per MONTH!  Yes, that is right...MONTH!!!  How much does that stink?

The Fun Never Ends

So tonight was Fabriena's family birthday dinner.  At dinner, I was feeling okay.  Then all of the sudden, I begin to feel nauseous.  Miranda and I walk outside, and I just about pass out!  So we all know where our thoughts run...passing out and throwing up, and emergency room again.
Luckily, I stayed conscious, and was able to make it through.  But man did I feel horrible!
I can't wait to be off this medicine in two months!

For the Beauty

Last night was Fabriena's birthday surprise party down in Sandbridge (VA Beach).  We had it at a beach house.  Today after church we went back down to clean a little from last night, and then spend the rest of the day.
Miranda and I just watched the water on a clear blue sky.  It was amazing.  What a gift from the Architect and the Creator of the world.  The words of the song echoed in my mind...

"For the beauty of the earth...
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise."

I am grateful to be here to experience the beauty of the earth.  A little bit more vibrant and majestic than it used to be to me!

Dear Family, Dear Friends

Miranda and I went to Washington to visit Sandra and Josh and listen to Sandra sing at the Washington DC Visitor Center.  It's always fun to listen to her.  And I love sitting next to people as they just gasp over her and how good she is, not realizing that they are sitting next to her brother!  It's pretty funny.
Anyway, Miranda and I had a chance to speak with President Lamar Sleight, a member of the Temple Presidency.  He and his dear wife have been some of the most supportive and encouraging people to Miranda and me during our fight with cancer.  What is even more amazing is that they support us, when they need support.  Sis. Sleight is struggling in her own fight against cancer.  As we spoke and exchanged reports, Pres. Sleight told me that Miranda and I have been on their minds a lot lately, and they didn't know why.  But they had been praying extra hard for us.  Hearing about my recent battle with prednisone put the pieces of the puzzle together for them.
How grateful I am for people like Pres and Sis Sleight.  They listen to the Holy Ghost and act.  They pray for others, and think of others before themselves.  What an inspiration to me!

Again...Almost

I was in the ER again.  I woke up, feeling horrible.  Just about ready to lose it all over again.  Vomit, passing out, you know, the regular thing.  Miranda took me right to the hospital.  The doctors have no definite answer, but they ruled out heart problems, which is nice.  They think that it could be because I am such a "lightweight" when it comes to medicine (good thing I have never had alcohol before!), and tapering off the prednisone, my body is really getting thrown through the ringer.

Not A Good Day

So, I have been on prednisone since about September.  I have been coming down off of it because it's one of those drugs that you can't "cold turkey" your way off of it.  But I have been having a real hard time coming off.  My adrenal glands just aren't kicking in the way they should.  I have been on high dosage for so long, they have all but shut down.  Now they won't wake up!
So I get up this morning, go to the bathroom, and just start vomiting.  Miranda is freaked out, and so she takes me to Patient First, the clinic close to our home.  I get in to see someone, and no sooner, throw up everywhere, and then pass out.  The next thing I remember is Miranda, catching me again (just like she caught me in ABG chamber), pushing me out of the trash can they gave me to throw up in.  The nurses help me regain myself, and then stick a swab down my throat so they can run tests.  Not a good idea!!!  More vomit, more passing out.
After a little bit, they want to do some test with me.  I lay down, and they take my pulse and blood pressure.  They they sit me up, and do the same tests.  And then they have me stand up and do the same tests.  Well, I didn't eve get through the sit up portion of the test.  And I bet you can guess what happened!  Yep, I started throwing up, and passed out again.
So all of this is going on, and I really remember none of it.  I was passed out enough, and trying to come to enough, that I don't remember a thing.  I can't imagine what Miranda is thinking.  She called our parents to let them know what was going on.  My mother came to Patient First.  Eventually they took me to the hospital.
So I get to the hospital, and have tons of tests run to find out what is going on.  I have needles sticking out of me and everything else.  I am sure that I was quite the sight!  The hospital tried to run the whole lay down, sit up, stand up test.  Luckily this time, when I sat up, I was able to detect that I was able to pass out again, and was able to lie down quick enough to ward off that episode again.
Throughout this whole process, I had a slue of visitors.  All of our parents had come and gone at some point.  The administrator of the hospital and a doctor that Chi Chi is friends with come down and say hello.  Mom actually stayed with Miranda and me throughout most of the ordeal.  She did take off once to get her own procedure done (had an MRI on her knee).  Miranda's sister, Shelby, came to stay with us when she had that done.
So after all of these tests and theories, the doctors concluded that I am suffering "adrenal crisis."  The adrenal glands in the body produce steroids that influence hormones, electrolytes, blood sugars, and other stuff like that.  Prednisone does the same thing.  And so when I take prednisone, my body is telling itself to shut down because an outside source is doing its job.  So the adrenal gland stops working.  Well, what this means for me is that as I was tapering down off the medications, I wasn't receiving sufficient steroid to produce all the stuff that I need.  And how does my body react to it?  Vomit, passing out, and all that fun stuff!
So the doctors put some prednisone in my IV, and in minutes, I felt totally fine again.  Eventually I got to go home.
This has been quite a traumatic day.  I hurt.  My body is tired and sore.  I don't ever want to do this again!

You had a what?!?!...

Well, today was a first for me.  I had a biopsy on a lump on my chest.  Before that I had a mammogram.  Yes, that's right...a mammogram.  I never thought I would have to do that.  And I tell you what, it hurt!  Part of the reason it hurt is because I still have the mediport in my chest, and so that was being scrunched.  Yeah, that didn't feel good.
Interesting experience.  One that I don't want again!

A Champion Day

Tonight I had a work meeting.  I am in a business called ACN, that deals with telecommunication and energy products and services.  One of our Regional Vice Presidents, Joel Frager, came to speak to us.  It was a great meeting.
Afterward, I introduced myself to him.  He mentioned that two of my business partners, Dennis Jones and Chris Davis, have talked to him about me and my situation.  He has also been touched indirectly by cancer.     He asked me how I was, and I was happy to report that I was cancer free.  He gave me a big hug, and said, "You know, you are a true champion."
It made me feel great.  Not prideful, but great.  I realize how lucky I am to be a survivor.  I have beaten the odds.  And I know that I am not the only one.  There are many like me.  And to you I say, "You are a True Champion."
We also had a check up with Dr Lee, my oncologist.  He said that things are looking very good.  He showed us before/after pictures of the lump in my neck and mass in my chest, and how it has shrunk.  it is amazing!
We also mapped out a schedule with him for the next five years.  Doctor visits, CAT Scans periodically to make sure that nothing comes back.
And to make things even better, Ryan and Stephanie welcomed Seren Kanani into the world!

Great News

I met today with Dr Duckett, my pulmonologist.  We reviewed my latest lung capacity tests, and he said they were "incredible."  Obviously he is saying that in comparison to what they used to be, but i will take it!  So that was nice.  Then we mapped out the remainder of the prednisone calender.  And the magic date is...

APRIL 20!!!!!

So in a few short months, I will be off this stuff and ready to roll along again!  What a great excuse for another party!

Funeral Robert Russell Robertson

Today was Grandad's funeral.  Beautiful ceremony, honoring the man whom we all loved and respected.  Miranda and I sang together "I Know that My Redeemer Lives."  Mom accompanied us.
I never realized how much I love music until recently.  Because of the lung damage and prednisone, I was not able to sing the way I usually can (which isn't the greatest anyway, but I can hold a note or two!).  I feel as if it's almost been taken from me, but I am able to keep just enough.  Almost as a tease.  You older athletes know what I am talking about.  Your body and head think about what you could do when you were younger.  But when you go out to play right now, and try to execute "fundamental things," you fall flat on your face, or don't do it like you used to.  That is how I felt today.  So boo to prednisone for that, but yeah for helping me live.
As part of the ceremony, we were able to take part in the Military respects of the 16 gun salute, bugles, bag pipes, the whole nine yards.  It was inspirational.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! No matter what language it is in (and those happen to be the only two I know) it's the same feeling! What a wonderful time. I am grateful to be around to see this Christmas; to be with Miranda, to be with my family. And to make it all the more special, we had a great Christmas gift from the heavens...SNOW!! Yes, Yes, I am not one that likes snow all that much. Living in Connecticut for 13 years, Idaho for five, and Canada for two, I have seen my fair share of snow. But there is something about in on Christmas that makes Miranda call it "magical." I would have to say that I agree!

this year for Christmas, Miranda's parents took us all to see The Lion King at the Chrysler. The Touring Broadway company was in Norfolk, VA. it was amazing, and so much fun to see. I saw it on Broadway, and it was so great to be able to see it again.

 

What a wonderful day!  

As if customary on Christmas, may I offer each of you a gift.  It's not much, but the most invaluable gift I can give, especially to people like us that are in need of special blessings.  I pray the God of Heaven to send His happiness and joy this Christmas season to fill your heart and home as it has mine.  May this Christmas be a different one for you, realizing the great gift it is to be alive!  But most important, may we always remember the great gift of God's Only Begotten Son, even Jesus Christ, through whom we may live this life in happiness and hope, but also live again forever.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Granddad Robertson

Yesterday we said "So long" to a good man.  He was a decorated Captain in the Navy, a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and a great man.  Captain Robert Russell Robertson passed on from this life last night.  He will be sorely missed by his wife, children, grandchildren, and all that knew him.  He was surrounded by those closest to him as he peacefully passed on.  I am blessed to be one of those.
Experiences like this really make me think about the fragility of mortality.  It's incredible to realize how at one moment everything is great, and then the next moment is the last.  We don't know when or why.  And so the moral of the story?  This is what we have!  Whether you believe in a life after death or not, one thing is certain.  This is the only "life" that we have.  Live it.  Enjoy it.  Be happy.  Love.  Help.  Experience.

First Haircut

Yes, it is true.  Your hair does grow back, and it grows back differently than before.  My hair is curlier than before, and I think it will be close to the same color, but maybe a bit darker.  We will have to see with that one.

Disappointment, then Encouragement

Well, bad news first.  I went to Dr Hubbard today.  We were talking about finally taking out this dang mediport from my chest.  Well, it turns out that prednisone compromises my ability to heal.  That being the case, they don't want a simple procedure to potentially turn into a stay at the hospital.  So they aren't going to take it out until I am off the meds.  NOT FUN!!!


But tonight was great.  It was our church congregation Christmas party, and it was so fun.  I was asked to be Santa's helper.  I sware I must have looked just like him, thanks to this medication.  Rosy cheeks, big tummy, etc.  It was a great experience.  The children were so excited.  Thanks Santa for asking me to help!
These are two of my elves that helped!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

What a great day!  A time set apart to remember everything for which we are thankful.  Unfortunately, sometimes this is the ONLY time that we remember.  But one is better than none.
We spent Thanksgiving with Miranda's parents and company that came over there.  It was a great time, full of food, and more food.  And being on prednisone, this was NOT good for me.  I ate, and ate, and ate, and couldn't stop eating!  Most people would say that it's okay, and we are supposed to do that around the holidays.  But this was just out of control!
Of course we had the annual Turkey Bowl.  I went out to be with everyone, but really didn't play.  With the power port still in my chest, and the effects of the medication I am still on, I couldn't do much more than be the all time center.  But it was still fun to be out there with everyone and breathe the air.
On this day, I find myself being thankful for the smallest things, the things that we almost always overlook.  I am thankful that I can breathe!  I am thankful that my lungs can fill with air and function properly.
I am grateful that I am alive to see days like this.  I am grateful that my heart is still beating and my body is still fighting.
What a wonderful day it has been!

PMS Pills

Now, I am beginning to have the full experience of what it's like being a woman.  Not fun, in my opinion.  If you noticed the pictures from the party, I am quite a bit more plump than usual.  That's because I am taking a steroid called Prednisone.  I need it to, quite literally, stay alive.  I had some complications from chemo that damaged my lungs.  So the prednisone is helping to clear that up as best as possible.
But the side effects are not fun!  Weight gain, moodiness, anger, sleepy, pain... and I have no control over it whatsoever!  Not fun at all.  I can't wait to get off this stuff.

No Chemo Party

Tonight was great fun!  Miranda put together a party for me, celebrating the completion of chemotherapy.  We just had a small group of family and friends over for hot dogs, a bonfire, and just good fun!

Now, the disclaimer.  Here are some photos.  I know I didn't get everyone that came to the party.  Some pictures have just a spouse or kid there, and I wasn't able to get the whole family.  That doesn't mean that I forgot about you, and don't appreciate your encouragement, love, and support during this time.  It just means that I didn't get a picture of you because I didn't have a camera ready!

That being said...

 Janet Price, Debbie Ferguson, Mom

Jaura, Nicole Johnson, Natalie Johnson, Megan Johnson, Camille Bunnell

 Will Cummings

Missy Cummings, Bobby Cummings

Grace Schlosser

 Camille Bunnell, Megan Johnson, Natalie Johnson, Nicole Johnson, Laura (Brock is in there somewhere)

 Hank Ferguson, Leroy Stubbs, Darlene Stubbs

 Dawn Sciavolino

 Laurie Miller, Melody Fisher

 Garrett Fisher, Fabriena

 Miranda, Kate Andrews, Bonnie Andrews, Joel Andrews

 Emma y Samantha

 Spencer, Heather, Parker

 Ryan Sasse, Julie Sasse, Andrew Greenstreet, Brooke Greenstreet, Emma Greenstreet

 Greg

Matt, Jeff Johnson

 Matt, Jeff Johnson

 Randall Fisher, Garrett Fisher

 Julia, Chi Chi (Dad)

 Greg, Kara Jones, Karen Miller, Maddie Cummings

 Jim Arnold, Jack Arnold

me

 me, Miranda

 Emma Greenstreet

me, Miranda, Emma Greenstreet, Brooke Greenstreet (Brooke's husband, Mike, is off on deployment serving our country.  We missed him, but sincerely appreciate his service for us and for our country!)

heather, Spencer, Samantha, Matt, Parker, Emma, Warren