April 16, 2010
Happy Birthday to Chi Chi!!!! Looks pretty good for knocking on the door of...well...I won't tell you how old because that is priviledged information! The lack of hair is NOT his fault! It's always hard to know what to get parents, especially when they have had such an impact on life as mine have. My father is my hero. He's Superman. He taught me baseball. He taught me to pray. He taught me as I made mistakes. He praised me in my successes.
So, what do you get the man that has shaped you? this year, I gave him a birthday present nobody will soon forget!
Miranda and I met with Dr. Hubbard, and learned a few things. I had several enlarged lymphnodes in my neck (already knew that). But there was a bulky mass in my chest, which may be what has caused my difficulty breathing for the past year! So to make a long conversation short in writing, Dr. Hubbard told me that I had lymphoma.
I didn't understand what that meant. But Miranda obviously did because she began to tear up. Then Dr. Hubbard began to get teary. He left the room to give us some privacy for a few minutes. Miranda and I discussed future plans and options, and then Dr. Hubbard came back in the room. We spoke for a little while, and then left.
We then began calling family. I called Ryan first, and told him. And then one by one, we got a hold of everyone on the Dudley side of the family. Just as I knew they would be, they were very supportive, encouraging, and everything that I hoped. Many offered to shave their heads to support me.
To be honest, even at this point, I didn't understand what lymphoma was. I thought that everyone was overreacting. I thought that I just had a cold that would last a little bit longer that usual. I had no idea it was something so serious.
That night, Miranda and I stayed at her parents' home because they were in Costa Rica celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, and we were house sitting and watching her two little sisters, Shelby and Riley. Miranda took Shelby upstairs and told her the news. I didn't want to tell Riley yet because I knew it would crush her. So while Miranda was talking to Shelby, I flipped on "House," one of those medical shows. Ironically enough, his patient that day was suffering from hodgkins lymphoma. So I thought that I better learn what that was before I let this show freak me out. I got on the internet, and googled lymphoma. The very first sentence I read was, "Lymphoma is a type of cancer."
I read it a few times. When it sank in, I ran upstairs, screaming for Miranda. I asked her why she didn't tell me because she obviously knew in the doctor's office what it was. She just hugged me.
So that is how I found out that I have cancer. It was a rude awakening. Now all the talk of shaving heads and chemotherapy made sense. As Miranda and I talked more about it, she reminded me of something very important. We hear of medical recoveries and miracles all the time that doctors can't explain. I was expecting that to happen to me. But Miranda reminded me that healing is not neccessarily an event, but a process. My process has begun.
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